Author Topic: Lucifer  (Read 742 times)

Icarus

  • Writer
  • Apprentice Mage
  • *
  • Posts: 547
    • View Profile
Lucifer
« on: October 11, 2016, 12:53:38 AM »
Name and Occupation
- Taken Name: Lucifer Vassago
- Pronunciation of the Name: Loo-Si-Fur Va-Sag-Oh
- Etymology: Lucifer was named after the Morning Star symbol carved into his back.
- Given Name: Gadreel Tirras
- Pronunciation of the Name: La-N-C Tear-As
- Character Job: Gym owner and Personal Trainer; both magical and non magical
- Qualifications:
- Level 2 Certificate in Fitness Instructing - Gym.
- Level 2 Diploma in Health, Fitness, and Exercise Instruction.
- Level 2 Diploma in Instructing Exercise and Fitness.
- Level 2 Diploma in Usage of Magic and Magical Artifacts
- Titles: Lucy

Character Mentality
- Character Personality:
Lucifer is as an honest working man.This is because he spends a lot of time working with other people, cleaning his own gym and working alongside his employees without conflict. Lucifer believes that you should work for everything and nothing comes to you for free. This is what drives him to continue his work the way he does.

Lucifer enjoys being around other people, but often spends much of his time alone. This is evident when he spends long hours in the Gym, and in his office, to relax and do his paperwork. he feels being alone is important to his health and leaves himself able to think clearly. Being around other people allows him to socialise and help people if they need it, which is something he enjoys.

”He tends to be mistrusting, to begin with, but quickly warms to people. When he first met his best friend, he was very cautious and tended to only talk to him about work, but after a few incidents where he needed to quickly leave the gym and left him in charge, he grew to trust him and eventually showed him the magic he works with. The mistrusts he has is due to normal experiences growing up.

During training sessions, he goes into a very competitive mindset; he tries to outdo the people he’s training with, often leaving his friends worn out rather quickly. When he’s training with a client, he’s able to suppress the competitive side and focuses on helping his clients achieve the best of their ability.

Lucifer has a warped sense of justice; when faced with confrontation or when someone wrongs him, he is ruthless and often has to be pulled away from the situation. His anger is known to flare up and die as quickly as it ignited. These mood swings are rare and only occur during stressful moments or moments of confrontation. Both communities would often pick fights with him, and he soon learnt that using brute force was the only way he'd be sure that conflict wouldn't happen.

Lucifer believes that everyone has potential, even mortals. He aspires to help as many people as possible to achieve what they’re capable of. That can be magical, physically or even if they just want to get into the right mindset. This has allowed Lucifer to become very likeable within his community, shown evidently, as his Gym caters to both magical and non-magical people alike. The magical side has its own area and is kept discreet. His father had etched symbols into him, forcing him into becoming the best possible self while destroying any sense of normality in him
- Character Likes:
- Adrenaline - He likes how adrenaline makes him feel; the rush, his heart racing and his blood pumping.
- The Gym - He enjoys the gym because it allows him to work himself and challenge himself to a point that he feels like he has worked hard enough for that day.  He likes to train a lot because it helps reassure him that if a situation were to arise where he is needed, he would be able to do something.
- Thermodynamics - Science became a big part of his life when he started becoming interested into how magic works. He suddenly grew eager to learn more and can understand more; thermodynamics became one of his main interests.
- String Theory - He likes string theory because the theory makes sense and it seems to be the only main theory that is has a continuous stream of evidence being discovered to back it up.
- Mentoring - He enjoys the idea of teaching people; he likes being knowledgeable and thoroughly enjoys passing this knowledge onto someone else. He mainly likes mentoring people who are looking to get into shape.
- The Bible - he has an interest in the bible, due to his mother being from a religious family. She would always have the book around the house he grew up in. Making decent reading material.
- Character Dislikes:
- Relaxing - If you're relaxing for a long period of time, it means you have nothing to do, but in his mind, there is always something to do. He doesn't mind taking small breaks or disappearing off to do paperwork(which he categorises as relaxing)
- Cats - One bit him once, and he never forgave it.
- Fish - They taste awful and they are very unhygienic.
- Gists - They freak him out; after seeing one in use, it terrified him.
- Live Stock - they smell bad and carry a lot of bacteria.
- Zoos - He doesn't see the point in a zoo; why cage animals when you could go to a safari and see them healthy and happy.
- Secrets - Lucifer feels that keeping secrets is unhealthy. He tries to pry his friends (and often clients) into spilling their secrets, hoping to make them feel better and allowing him to also be kept up to date on gossip.
- Heat - Heat bothers Lucifer. He spends a lot of his time complaining during warm days, although in Britain, they are few and far in-between. This is due to training being more difficult during warmer weather.
- Mental Traits:
- Eidetic Memory
   He was born with an Eidetic Memory. It comes in very handy for remembering dates, appointments  and places he needs to be.
- Adaptable
   Lucifer is nothing if not adaptable; he has learnt that change isn’t something to fear and that change is inevitable. By adapting to the many changes in the town he lives in, clientele and technological advancements, he has become a much happier and more reliable person.
- Reliable
   Lucifer prides himself on how reliable he is. He feels that reliability is a key aspect of running a business. He is always between 15 minutes early to each appointment unless he is unable to fulfil that. If he's gojng to going to be late, he always notifies his clients. His reliability is one of the reasons why his customers choose him over his competitors.

Species and Allegiance
- Species: Human
- Ethnicity: South African
- Nationality: England
- Alignment: Lawfully Neutral
- Allegiance: Lucifers allegiance is to his buisness.
- Reasoning: He believes it’s his and other citizens responsibility to uphold the law. Therefore his buisnesss will always come first.

Relationships
- Allies: His best friend and a few clients
- Enemies:
- Family: His Father who is currently in the South African Sanctuary prison.
- Friends:
- Significant Other:

Character Age and Gender
- True Age: 346
- Appearance Age: 28
- Character Birthday: 01/09/1669
- Gender: Male

Character Appearance
- Skin Colour: Lucifer's skin tone would be described as Olive/mid brown. #52390B
- Height: 6"3'
- Weight: 165lb
- Hair Description: Jet black, cut short and styled into a high fade and curly
- Eye Description: Round eyes, teal with a slightly dark tint to them.
- Facial Details: He has a round face with high cheekbones and light red lips. His lips are thin and uneaven, with a very pink colouring to them. His jawline has been described as sharp. His eyebrows are black and fairly thin. His nose would be described as a snub.
- Physical Appearance: Mesomorphic build, with a very defined chest and abdomen. His legs are strong and muscular. His arms are very muscular and defined. His crisp white feathered wings are extremely big, they extend out from either side of his thoracic vertebrae. His sternum is reinforced to compensate for the added weight from his 7 Metre wingspan.
(click to show/hide)
(click to show/hide)
(click to show/hide)
- Attire: Whilst at work, Lucifer wears plain blue jogging bottoms with a pop culture tee, representing either a hero from comic books or a tv character. He has either blue vans or a pair of cheap pumps.
His everyday attire consists of a patterned shirt and brown braces with horseshoe shaped cliping mechanisms. He wears grey jeans and black doc martens with these. In the winter he pairs this with a yellow, brown or red beanie complete with vintage pins and a pair of wayfarer clear lens sunglasses.
He wears a harness to contain his wings. The harness is made of leather, with small symbols etched into the material, these symbols reinforce the leather so it won’t break under the strain of containing the wings. The magic is needed due to the strength of the wings and to hide them in plain sight. If the leather doesn’t work and the magic fails, he could use duct tape to repair the harness. The harness is made up of four straps. Two straps go down his chest reach down his chest and back vertically. The other two straps go across horizontally. The joints are reinforced with steel.


Speech and Habits
- Character Voice: Lucifer has a husky voice. Described as Baritone
- Speech Traits: Lucifer speaks with a heavy Received Pronunciation English Accent. (Well spoken). His voice often cracks after talking for long periods of time.
- Languages: South African, English.
- Habits: Lucifer smokes Marlboro Reds. He smokes them after every training session and goes through around half a pack a day.
- Mannerisms: Lucifer sits with his upper body and torso leaning more forward than the rest of his body.

Weapons, Equipment and Artifacts
- Large Equipment: N/A
- Small Equipment: iPad, Asus Transformer Book, a couple expensive watches and one magical watch. He wears multiple watches to switch up his outfit.
- Weaponry: A small handgun for self-defence,
- A 9×19mm Walther P99, German semi-automatic pistol.
- Ammunition: He carries one spare clip on him at all times.
- Pocket Items: Gum,  a pack of Marlboro Reds, Keys and a symbol writing case.
- Magical Equipment/Artifacts: A magical watch that has been etched in symbols, causing to automatically shift the time zone he is in. When he first got the watch it was only a basic watch that he had to change manually if he ever left the time zone he was in, so he etched the symbols onto it to give it that function
- Other: A small cottage in Ketton, a warehouse in Peterborough; 10,000 Square feet with a remote skylight, a Green and white Kawasaki Ninja H2R and a Suzuki Swift 1.2 SZ4 [Nav] 5dr Auto. He also owns a Gym within Stamford.

Magical and Physical Abilities
- Magic Type: [Elemental or Adept? If they have had Cleaver Training, state it here. Unless still in training, Elemental and Adept cannot both be chosen.]
- Specialization: [Elementals, what is your strongest element? Adepts, what is your magic defined as? Examples: Necromancy, Energy-Thrower, Magebound.]
- Immersion Metamorphosis: [Does your character's magic cause some physical aspect of your character to change? Explain how exactly they change. Have they ever reached Empowered Metamorphosis? See the approved magic disciplines to see if this applies to you. This also applies to some diseases.]
- Ability Specific Info: [Necromancers, what is your magic stored in? Other adepts may require some additional info. Elementals can explain proficiency in each element.]
- Magical Abilities: [What can your character achieve with their magic? Do they have a signature ability or particular style to using their magic? Explain everything about their magic here.]
- Physical Abilities: [What are the physical abilities of your character? For example, are they good at hand-to-hand combat, swordplay, nunchucks? Detail their physical abilities here.]
- Strengths: [What are your character's strengths? Feel free to include mental/psychological strengths too.]
- Weaknesses: [What are your character's weaknesses? Feel free to include mental/psychological weaknesses too.]
- Training: [Where did your character learn their magical and physical abilities? How were they trained?]

Goals, Motivation and History
- Major Goal: Lucifer wishes to live a normal life, he eventually wants to settle down, however he is also looking to expand his knowledge, he wants to learn as much as he can when there's something he doesn't know, he tries his best to find out.
- Minor Goals: Lucifer wants to keep people safe, he likes the idea of using his burden to help. He believes in truth and justice. He wants to own the best gym in the world.
- Motivation: His scars are his biggest motivation. When looking at his past, he uses that to rise above and to become the person he wants to be.
- Bio:

- Pre-Lucifer
(click to show/hide)

- Childhood
(click to show/hide)

- Teen
(click to show/hide)

- Additional Notes: [Is there anything else important that was not covered by the previous sections? Something that you would like to add that does not go elsewhere? Place it here.]
« Last Edit: June 06, 2018, 05:01:19 PM by Icarus »

Skullpony Pleasant

  • Supporter
  • Grand Mage
  • *
  • Posts: 2406
    • Isaiah salvatore
    • View Profile
Re: Lucifer
« Reply #1 on: October 11, 2016, 02:37:25 AM »
o-o an angle
Please report if any rules are skirted or broken, Skullpony has abused our leniency long enough.

Mad Murdock

  • Global Moderator
  • Legendary Mage
  • *
  • Posts: 4891
    • Z'ev
    • View Profile
Re: Lucifer
« Reply #2 on: October 11, 2016, 09:24:01 PM »
I shall begin a review! I have four days in order to complete it. [17/10/16] is the due date!
"Your grasp of the English language never ceases to amaze me" - LovedthenhatedErskine [27 May 2015]


Mathieu Finnick-Bane and Rico Classified art by Jara

"You're bold enough to assume as much."

Mad Murdock

  • Global Moderator
  • Legendary Mage
  • *
  • Posts: 4891
    • Z'ev
    • View Profile
Re: Lucifer
« Reply #3 on: October 12, 2016, 12:31:36 AM »
A review!
(click to show/hide)
"Your grasp of the English language never ceases to amaze me" - LovedthenhatedErskine [27 May 2015]


Mathieu Finnick-Bane and Rico Classified art by Jara

"You're bold enough to assume as much."

Icarus

  • Writer
  • Apprentice Mage
  • *
  • Posts: 547
    • View Profile
Re: Lucifer
« Reply #4 on: October 12, 2016, 08:45:19 PM »
I have made my corrections! Thank you for the criticism, it has helped me so much! If you want a Fic based on this character just ask. Thank you once again.

Mad Murdock

  • Global Moderator
  • Legendary Mage
  • *
  • Posts: 4891
    • Z'ev
    • View Profile
Re: Lucifer
« Reply #5 on: October 13, 2016, 08:21:21 AM »
(click to show/hide)
"Your grasp of the English language never ceases to amaze me" - LovedthenhatedErskine [27 May 2015]


Mathieu Finnick-Bane and Rico Classified art by Jara

"You're bold enough to assume as much."

Icarus

  • Writer
  • Apprentice Mage
  • *
  • Posts: 547
    • View Profile
Re: Lucifer
« Reply #6 on: October 19, 2016, 03:05:38 PM »
Sorry it took so long! I've done the corrections! Thank you!

TheCaptainSargey

  • Grand Mage
  • *
  • Posts: 3158
    • View Profile
Re: Lucifer
« Reply #7 on: October 26, 2016, 10:31:15 AM »
Any plans on making custom discipline for this?
Advocado toast is ruining the economy

Dregran Entropy

  • Administrator
  • Ancient
  • *
  • Posts: 16172
    • Dregran Entropy
    • View Profile
Re: Lucifer
« Reply #8 on: October 29, 2016, 07:37:30 AM »
I really don't like Divine Intervention. There's a lot wrong with it, at least one contradiction about the usage of it, and it just seems unstable as an idea. You want your character to be angel, I gather? Why not just give him wings and access to healing magic? I don't see the need to make it a new thing. Maybe he's a subspecies of humans that have wings, maybe he's a magical race often called angels by mortal men, or maybe he's one of a kind. I just don't really like the ideal of Divine Intervention. More details on the specifics of it, as it's own discipline or affliction/species would be interesting, but imo you're better off with another take on the angel direction.
It doesn't matter where we go, there's always someone that doesn't agree with us.

Skulduggery Forums Rules
Character Profile Rules | Character Index
Ask Me Anything

Isfet Lethe

  • Supporter
  • Apprentice Mage
  • *
  • Posts: 695
    • View Profile
Re: Lucifer
« Reply #9 on: November 01, 2016, 11:06:04 PM »
NOT A PLOTMASTER

Running with the idea of making a subspecies, What if you spoke to Charlotte about making something that was the complete flipside to the Fae? I've always imagined them as quite demonic so if you made a species or affliction that were their polar opposite, well I feel like it'd be quite a good way to overcome this problem.

A couple of other ideas though:

You say as the symbols are carved into him, there's no cure but would it not be resolved by a skin transplant? Surely removing the symbol removes the affliction?


DON'T CLICK ON THIS SPOILER IF YOU AREN'T UP TO DATE ON THE BOOKS. THAT MEANS YOU, SOV.
(click to show/hide)

You mention these symbols that give him this power. What do they look like?

Re the age, I'd recommend adding in the year of birth as well as date and month, which I believe if my maths is correct would be 1427. I find it helps as it gives me the option of looking back at older OCs and considering updating them. It just seems to help with overall development as they are aging in real time if their year of birth is marked, and allows for a more in depth bio.


"His mother knew what his father was like due to having the same process done to his six other children, although there's theirs didn't look quite as painful." There shows direction, They're speaks about people's state, their shows possession.

In your bio, you mention his mother's conflict with his father. Why did she not do anything like this with his siblings? Did she have a special soft spot for Lucifer? I feel like this may affect his memory of his mother. Trust me when I say things like that can really affect a person way after the person they held close has passed away.
Re the Titles, I tend to put an "N/A" if there's nothing there rather than leaving blank. It feels more complete and demonstrates you've considered it and haven't just forgotten about it.

How come he's described as an under achiever despite being intelligent? What's holding him back?
I'd like to second Docky's pushing for more in the personality. Like I said to Sov once, other than maybe bio, I find personality should be one of the largest sections there is.

If he's a lawful neutral nomad, then does he hold allegiance to those who are wronged and the law isn't enforced sufficiently so don't benefit? Is he a vigilante? Does he hold allegiance to the law then?

"Lucifer is determined to see a world where no similar evil continue to dwell." - This antagonism towards evil makes me question whether lawful good is more accurate.

I feel like Divine Intervention should be submitted for a custom discipline if it's not being prepared for that already. It provides a lot more detail on your character and I found it was useful when I created a character that's currently the only one with their particular abilities. I don't mind helping out with that as I have a pair of OCs who may benefit from having it as a discipline or affliction.

Mad Murdock

  • Global Moderator
  • Legendary Mage
  • *
  • Posts: 4891
    • Z'ev
    • View Profile
Re: Lucifer
« Reply #10 on: November 03, 2016, 08:42:59 PM »
Archived on creator's request. Message myself, or any one of the Plotmaster team when you're ready to have it moved back.
"Your grasp of the English language never ceases to amaze me" - LovedthenhatedErskine [27 May 2015]


Mathieu Finnick-Bane and Rico Classified art by Jara

"You're bold enough to assume as much."

Mad Murdock

  • Global Moderator
  • Legendary Mage
  • *
  • Posts: 4891
    • Z'ev
    • View Profile
Re: Lucifer
« Reply #11 on: February 12, 2017, 08:16:14 AM »
Today [12/02/17 9:13pm] I've organised a review for Lucifer. Due to the affliction section being re-adjusted in a separate profile, this review may take a little longer than the 4 days I would normally bide by, unless the affliction is sorted beforehand.
"Your grasp of the English language never ceases to amaze me" - LovedthenhatedErskine [27 May 2015]


Mathieu Finnick-Bane and Rico Classified art by Jara

"You're bold enough to assume as much."

Mad Murdock

  • Global Moderator
  • Legendary Mage
  • *
  • Posts: 4891
    • Z'ev
    • View Profile
Re: Lucifer
« Reply #12 on: February 15, 2017, 08:29:50 AM »
Key:
Anima’s comments/suggestions
Dregran’s comments/suggestions
Sovereign’s comments/suggestions
Murdock’s comments/suggestions
[text] A question or comment
{text} My wording suggestion
“text” The source of focus for a suggestion/question

(click to show/hide)
« Last Edit: February 15, 2017, 08:34:49 AM by Lagertha Murdock »
"Your grasp of the English language never ceases to amaze me" - LovedthenhatedErskine [27 May 2015]


Mathieu Finnick-Bane and Rico Classified art by Jara

"You're bold enough to assume as much."

Mad Murdock

  • Global Moderator
  • Legendary Mage
  • *
  • Posts: 4891
    • Z'ev
    • View Profile
Re: Lucifer
« Reply #13 on: February 15, 2017, 08:35:38 AM »
[Other Comments and Suggestions]
Anima
-


Dregran
- My comments will focus on the bio, since I think that’s the source of the vagueness and inconsistency in the personality and magic.
- You’ve made both the father and the mother two dimensional. You don’t need to flesh them out and make characters, but you need something more than unexplained malice and then kindness. Why does the father want to do this? Why was the mother ok with it until that specific moment? And the brothers, what happened to them? Do they even matter to his story, apart from some random Gist-hate? You don’t need fully fleshed out characters here, but something about their motivations and goals should be kept in mind.
- To put it bluntly, the bio is a stale re-run of every RP character that has a tragic past and is now some good guy who saves everyone. Granted, there’s more to Lucifer than that, but I can’t really see anything explained in the personality present in the backstory.
- I think the biggest problem comes from doing this in a single session or not spending an ungodly amount of time on something. I don’t think it’s possible to create a great character or story with anything less than a month or more of planning before everything else. So take some time thinking about his backstory and personality. I encourage reading over the whole profile, especially after doing the backstory (I often write backstories first), so there’s consistency and you have a more realistic character.
- As a final general recommendation: lower his age to 200 if not 100. That would make his surgery as a child far more believable and save skipping over centuries. I’d also say increase the age of surgery and the mother’s death to about 9 or teenage years, and remove the brothers entirely (use a later experience, of a Gist killing his love interest or something, or the Gist being his love interest and he kills her or something). I feel like everything about this character is cluttered into before he was 16, and that makes 300 years of his life be glossed over.
- If you expand his relationship with his father during his earlier years and add another case of someone close to him betraying his trust, I’d believe he’s only into people for carnal desires and doesn’t trust anyone.


Sovereign
- You use the words “This is because” or “tends to” far too much; the former is not a natural way of explaining things (watch some videos of inspirations speakers, or high end businessmen; no one says it). The latter is too indecisive; instead of “tends to be mistrustworthy”, just say “is mistrustworthy”, as I can’t imagine there’d be many scenarios where he immediately trusts someone.
- There is a lot of contradictory content that you’ve written; I would suggest writing a far more in depth bio, and asking yourself big questions about Lucifer (that don’t have to be written, just asked to yourself) to give you a better understanding of this character you’re creating.
- I have a bit of a problem with people older than 100 years that don’t show the wisdom, or experience that you’d expect to see from someone of that age; perhaps you could work that in a little more, or reduce the age? Is there significant reason for him to be 600?


Murdock
- The profile is inconsistent with information, and it contradicts itself a lot. It’s clear your focus is mainly on the affliction [Divine Intervention]; because of this, you haven’t given the rest of the profile thorough thought. We’ve added in suggestions and hints where we could, but it’s up to you to make the changes.

"Your grasp of the English language never ceases to amaze me" - LovedthenhatedErskine [27 May 2015]


Mathieu Finnick-Bane and Rico Classified art by Jara

"You're bold enough to assume as much."